And So It Goes
by ArtemisAngelie
Summary: Some stories were never meant to be told. SiriusLily


DISCLAIMER: We don't own the characters, not Lily, not Sirius, not Snape, not Malfoy (but hell we wish we did), not the concept or anything Harry Potter. They all belong to bloody J.K. Rowling, our god, the one who makes our lives worth living, and has made us have compassion for black dogs and kill rats. We don't even own the goddamn title. So don't bother sueing us, we have no money to give you. Though we do have nail polish...  
  
So my friend and I are sitting one day, reading Hp fanfiction and we noticed a distinct lack of Lily/Sirius fanfiction. What to do? Write some!!!! So this is how it goes: Harry finds out about Lily and Sirius having a ... shall we say, affair and the story is told!! Simple. Stars Lily Evans and Sirius Black, with cameos by Lucius Malfoy and Severus Snape. The main pairing is Lily/Sirius, though there is some implied Lily/Snape and Sirius/Snape. So there you go. Oh and the rating??? The prologue isn't R but there are Adult themes, drug use, language, maybe sex scenes coming up in later chapters. So start reading.  
  
Prologue  
  
Harry leafed through a box of Sirius' old possessions, brought over from Remus'. Old dusty letters, books, bizarre things that Sirius had picked up, old paintings, sketches, even a few of his father. They were all signed in the bottom left-hand corner, with the same scribbled signature that stated: Sirius Black. Harry was silently quite amazed at some of the work, the drawings were full of rich, dark lines, weaving and lacing themselves together in a kind of rhythmic dance; the writings, songs, gothic and dark always, there was no room for hope or love; the photographs, often cathedrals and gargoyles, menacing and demonic, but ultimately fascinating and Harry thought, in a strange way, beautiful.  
  
He continued to rifle through the box, stopping to read things, stare at paintings and piece together a lost man's life. Near to the bottom of the box, he pulled out an old, dusty and unopened envelope. Written on the front, in faded ink was his mother's name, Lily. Fascinated, Harry tore the envelope. The letter was written in Sirius' unmistakeable untidy scrawl. Harry began to read.  
  
Lily, it began,  
  
I'm telling you this in a letter because I seem to be unable to say it your face. We need to stop this now. Since you are unable to draw the line, I will. This can't keep happening. You're going to lose James and so am I. It's not worth it. They say that if you truly love someone, you will be able to let them go. I have to let you go. It's going to hurt too many people. I can't give you what you want. I'm not he person you fell in love with. I'm nothing, Lily, you deserve more than that. I'm not a loving person; I'm not even a good person. I'm sorry if I pretended to be what I'm not. You deserve a family, a loving husband, a great life, not a drug- addicted, self-absorbed misfit. That's all I can offer you, a pathetic, fucked up life. You deserve more. I can't offer you love or any of the things you need. I'm ending this now. What you loved is gone. My soul is gone. That 21 Grams is gone. Go back to James. He loves you and you love him. All we wanted was a fuck, nothing more. You get on with your life and I'll get on with mine. I apologise for all the pain and problems I've caused you. I'm sorry for the guilt, for involving you in my shit, for that fuckhead Snape, I'm sorry I caused all of that. It's best if we go back to hating each other, anything's better than this. I can't keep doing this. I'm sorry but I cant.  
  
Sirius  
  
Harry couldn't breathe. He had never felt so sick in his life. The shock that had enveloped his body was quickly replaced by anger. It swelled his throat, contorted his face, his eyes stung as he forced himself to see straight. How could Sirius, he thought, his best friend, how could he cheat on his best friend? Fucking gutless bastard. Fucking slut. Harry sat there, his hands shaking, fuming silently. Why? Why the fuck did he do it? Harry wanted answers and he wanted them now. Harry stood up quickly, so quickly he nearly lost his balance. He bolted down the stairs and ran to the dining room. The house was empty and quiet.  
  
The bastard must he the only one home, Harry thought angrily. He clenched his teeth and made his way to the kitchen where he found his godfather, the betrayer, carving up a joint of lamb. "Hey", Sirius said, looking up and noticing Harry "It looks like its just you and me tonight, but Molly left us some lamb". He gestured to the joint on the chopping board. Harry was shaking, his face contorted with hurt and anger. Everything he had planned to say went out the window.  
  
"You bastard", he swore, staring straight at Sirius. "What?" Sirius was clearly confused. "You fucking, gutless bastard" he spat, his face a mask of loathing. "What the hell?" Sirius was confused and angry now. How dare he, Harry thought, how dare he be angry, after all he's done. "How could you, you fucking wanker, you fucking betrayer, how the fuck could you do it?" Harry roared, losing his temper, and letting all his hurt, anger and betrayal cascade out. Sirius stood there, shocked, outrage colouring his features. "What the fuck are you talking about?" he yelled at Harry. Harry suddenly became unable to say anything. His throat was all choked up and he felt like he was going to be sick. He thrust the piece of parchment at Sirius.  
  
He stared at it for a moment, and Harry watched all the colour drain from his face. He looked up at Harry, white-faced. He seemed to be lost for words. "Harry", finally he stammered, "Harry...you...you... don't understand." "What don't I understand, what? You betrayed my father, your best fucking friend, you fucking asshole, you traitor," Harry yelled at him, anger burning in his throat. "You don't understand what happened, please Harry, listen", Sirius said, attempting to calm his grandson, an attempt that failed miserably. "I know exactly what fucking happened, your going around fucking my mother, taking advantage of her, you fucking slut", Harry yelled even louder.  
  
"I never took advantage of your mother, please Harry listen to me, I can explain". "I can explain for you, you bastard, you were cheating with your best friends wife". "We finished it before then". "Oh, and that makes it ok then? So you can screw her just because she's not married, she was still going out with him, you fucking traitor." "Please Harry, you need to know the full story", Sirius pleaded. "I already know the full story, you took advantage of my mother, you slut". "I never took advantage of your mother, I never would", Sirius was yelling now too. "You should listen for once, you have a bad habit of acting before you know the full story". Sirius finished, breathing heavily. "You don't understand". "Oh yeah?" Harry's voice was dangerously calm. "Make me understand".  
  
"I can't make you understand what happened, I can tell you the story, but that's all", Sirius sounded defeated. "Tell me the story" Sirius turned away. "I don't know if I can, it's not something I want to relive". "Tell me the story". Sirius' voice was defiant. "I cant, you don't understand, I just can't." Harry's voice was rising. "Tell me, I have a right to know". Sirius turned back to him. "You're right, you do have a right to know", he said softly. "So tell me". Sirius stood silently for a moment. "Fine, but I am warning you. This story is not a happy one and there are a lot of people who wouldn't want it told. You must promise me you'll never breathe a word of this to anyone else, you understand me?"  
  
Harry had an urge to tell him where to stick his story but his curiosity got the better of him, so with clenched teeth, he nodded. Sirius sighed. "You'd better sit down, it's a long story". "Meaning you shagged my mother for a long time", Harry said, sitting down on a chair. "Meaning it's long story and you should sit down and listen", Sirius said calmly. He pulled up a chair across from Harry and sat down. "So?" Harry said impatiently. "So I'm trying to think of the best way to start it" "How about with you fucking my mother".  
  
"Will you just shut up and listen?" Sirius was glaring at him now. Harry dropped his gaze, defeated and Sirius, looking warily at him, continued. "There are few background details you need to know before I start. The relationship between your mother and I started in 7th year, and you must understand this, before then your mother and I, well, we weren't exactly, well to be blunt, we hated each other". Harry snorted. "You sounded like pretty good friends to me" "Do you want to hear the goddamn story or not?" Sirius' tone was impatient. "Sorry", Harry said grudgingly. Sirius was resting his chin on his hand and staring out the window. They were silent for a long time. Finally he spoke. "It started this one night at the beginning of 7th year..."  
  
*~*  
  
That'll do for the prologue. Chapter 1 is going up soon, just you wait. Ummm, what else can I say???? RnR please, we really want your feedback. We will reply to all reviews at the end of the first chapter. Now do and review!!!! 


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